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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435163">Don't Wake Daddy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAllFlyHigh/pseuds/WeAllFlyHigh'>WeAllFlyHigh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Humor, OCs - Freeform, Slapstick, States personified, bc this thing still gets attention on FF for some reason, i brought it over after 8 years, it's 80 percent states and 20 percent horrified nations, now with some editing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:34:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435163</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAllFlyHigh/pseuds/WeAllFlyHigh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When America tells the States to let him sleep they're determined to make sure that nothing wakes him. If the Axis and Allies have a problem with that they'll just have to go through the States. This means war!</p><p>No relation to the game.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part One: The Order</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally, I pounded out chapters for this and did very little editing. But hey, I wrote it when at a time when I was overall pretty miserable, but it made me happy and apparently it did the same for others. That delights me today. So, I’m going back in and editing it again. If you want to see the original mess it's untouched on FF.net. There will probably still be mistakes in this version.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>The states really did love America. They'd do whatever he wants them to (within reason). So, when he asked that no one wake him up for <em>anything</em> the states are determined that nothing will. No nation could convince them otherwise and they are not afraid of using "forceful" means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America looked down at the steps at his states. They looked back at him. America yawned. The states blinked in response. They were used to being called to the entrance of their "bonding house" to hear Americas’ announcements but not like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They came to this house twice a year every year since 1865 for the official State Bonding Time. Every time America stood on those steps before them, he would make a big announcement. Sometimes it would be what they were going to do; see this show, go to this meeting, make these care packages, or more often for them to behave and do whatever. The announcements would always be brief, commanding, and dramatic. So, this slow and quiet time when America just stared at them was making them worry. They hadn't heard about a war starting, and they were always the first to know, but their nation looked like he had just come back from the front lines. He dark bruises under his eyes, his hair had a French fry sticking out of it, and his normally glowing smile was turned off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After an eternity, about five minutes, one of the states cleared their throat. This caused America to be startled from the stair railing he had begun to slowly lean over. He blinked rapidly at them and they blinked worriedly at him. Finally, America smiled at them, although the states noticed it did not glow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok dudes," he cheerfully announced, "I just came back from a big meeting and I know it's Bonding Time but can you just behave?" The states frowned in unison, something that would have been very creepy to anyone but America. They knew something was wrong. America's announcement was not as cheerful or loud like they were used to. "Guys," he whined at them, "I just want to sleep. I don't care what you do just make sure it doesn't wake me up. Ok?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If America hadn't been so tired, he would have never said that.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2: Carrying out the Mission (AKA Seriously Getting Carried Away)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The states were on high alert. Nothing got within twelve feet of the Bonding House without them knowing. Several of them were on border patrol, five were monitoring the security systems, and one stood ready to take command in Americas’ place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of America, Delaware, the current head of the state forces, glanced at the monitor that displayed his sleeping father nation. America was secure, curled on his side with a pool of drool building on his pillow, and beside him a state sat ready to defend or serve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delaware found himself unable to look away from the pretty blonde state. Before he could even think about it, he found himself pressing the little gray button that would allow them to speak to each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mary...Maryland," he managed to whisper past the frog in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, Delaware, you know you shouldn't use this while he's sleeping. You could wake Dad up," the female state whispered back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know that. It's just... well you... what the heck are you wearing!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delaware saw the Maryland on the screen tilt her head. She smiled and stood. "It's a classic maid uniform. Doesn't it look cute?" She spun around to show off her supposedly cute dress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's unprofessional. You look like you should be in some hentai show or something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hentai? Oh no. But I'm so proud that you know what that means. Have you finally begun your transformation into an otaku, Del? "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Delaware stated firmly. "Just be on alert in case we need you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not like you will, Del. Really no one is going to get into the mansion and even if they did, they won't get past Hawaii and Alaska."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just be ready," Delaware commanded before releasing the button. He then pressed another button identical to the one before. "How are things with you two?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You already know that," Hawaii and Alaska answered at the same time. "Why do we have to be here. Can't we join the rest of you outside?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delaware sighed. "Someone needs to guard his door. You should feel honored that you were chosen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And why were chosen to do the safest job again?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You two work well together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Meaning we're the newest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That has nothing to do with it. Besides Maryland is inside the room. That's even safer, if you want to think that way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alaska gave out a half mocking laugh, "She volunteered for that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And only because she wanted to try out that maid's outfit," Hawaii chimed in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You knew about the maid outfit," Delaware accused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not exactly but it's pretty obvious that she would have one if you think about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delaware sighed. It was so hard to keep his siblings in line sometimes. That's why he couldn't help but dread these bonding times. DC was lucky to be excused. "Whatever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does that mean we don't have to do this next time?" Hawaii asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No guarantees."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, come on. I was a kingdom before this. Don't I deserve a better job?" Hawaii protested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not so bad a job, Hawaii," Delaware was grateful for Alaska's defense. There really wasn't a good comeback to 'I was a kingdom.' "We could have a tea party while we wait." On second thought, Delaware wasn't so grateful after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't have a tea party on duty," Delaware snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then could we do something else?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was just about to respond when another state in the grand control room pulled on his sleeve. "Our borders are being approached by potentially hostile forces."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? Do we have a visual?" Delaware was already pushing Minnesota out of his way to get closer to the monitor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, sir," she replied as she struggled to remain in the spinning wheely chair. "Their identities have not yet had a positive confirmation but we believe-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's England!" It was aforementioned nation and he had others with him, nations. All three Axis nations and the rest of the Allies were there as well. Delaware moved his face closer to the screen. Correction, Canada wasn't there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minnesota frowned at being interrupted but let it go considering the situation. "That's what we thought but none of the other thirteen were available to confirm so we-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We need to take action."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No really I thought we could invite them in and recreate the Boston Tea Party. Wouldn't that be lovely</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Minnesota thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delaware moved back into the center of the control room as the nations approached the gate. "We can not let them interfere. We will stop them at all costs!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hands of the states inside the control room moved to hover above their command keys. Their eyes narrowed on the approaching nations. Murderous tension filled the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>England pushed the doorbell.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alaska and Hawaii stood listening to the static in their ears. Hawaii turned to face her northern brother, "He left us, didn't he?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alaska glanced at her from the corner of his eye with a smirk dancing on his lips. "I'll get the table and chairs if you ask Maryland to bring out the tea set and treats."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hawaii stuck her head into the bed and began to open the door whispering, "She really takes her costumes seriously, doesn't she?" When Alaska didn't reply she glanced back. He was nowhere in sight. "Seriously, why does everyone keep ignoring me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shouldn't you be asking why he has an obsession with tea parties?" Maryland smiled, "Want a cookie? They're chocolate.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At the time of the original release there were differing opinions on whether states would follow the same gag of Canada being invisible. I went with a no because a state is smaller/ less powerful than a nation. And they wouldn’t confuse the two since they were so close to America.</p><p>Facts:</p><p>Alaska and Hawaii were the last states added to the Union. Both were added in 1959:Alaska on January 3rd and Hawaii on August 21st.</p><p>In 1810 Kamehameha the Great established a Hawaiian monarchy that ruled until Hawaii was annexed by the US in 1898. (Hawaii and Alaska were originally called the youngest in this. I changed that for this edit.)</p><p>In 2005 Minneapolis Minnesota was named the most technologically advanced city in the US by Popular Science (the magazine). Since that was the first thing that popped up when I searched Google for "most technological city in US" Minnesota got a place in the control room. At this time (2020) it seems like New York City has overtaken them.</p><p>The reason Maryland is all otaku in this was because at the time the largest strictly anime convention, Otakon, in the US was hosted in Baltimore Maryland. I don’t think Otakon holds that title anymore and it is currently being hosted in Washington DC.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Contact (Antagonizing)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.</em> "Idiot, America," England muttered.</p><p>"Hmm, what was that <em>chérie</em>?" France slid his hand on to England's knee.</p><p>"Bloody hell! Don't touch me, you frog!" England leaped away from France or at least he tried to. Escaping French perverts is impossible when you're trapped inside a cramped car and so England crashed into the cars’ door. All the Axis and Allies were inside of the same car, except for one especially loud member. It was crowded, cramped, hot, and smelled like pasta thanks to Italy who had insisted on bringing some. For England it was hell but for France it meant easy pickings.</p><p>"England-san, please do not shout," Japan requested.</p><p><em>This</em>, England decided, <em>was all Americas fault</em>.</p><p>The stupid Yank had taken off at the end of the world conference like some kind of demon was after him, which was impossible because Russia was talking to China. He had apparently been in such a hurry that forgot about the Allies meeting afterward and had accidentally taken one of Germany's papers with him.</p><p>The Allies had decided that if America was going to leave them behind, then they would just follow him and drag him to the meeting even if no one really wanted him there after he ditched them. Germany was determined to get his paper back and had decided to tag along. When Italy heard that everyone was going somewhere, he had insisted on coming and had pleaded with Japan to come so that it could "be just like old time but without people shooting at him."</p><p>Something told England that going to America's house would be a bad idea. The meeting didn't need America and the paper could be returned tomorrow, but he had ignored the thought. So, they were all stuck in a car that would have been big for one of the nations but was the furthest thing from it with all of them.</p><p>After what seemed like an eternity, in hell, they arrived at America's nearest house. One by one the nations exited the car. Italy spun around a few times and France brushed his hair away from his eyes while the others just straightened their clothes once they were out. A set of wrought iron gates stood in front of them with a high brick walls on either side. Having no other choice, they approached the gates and peered beyond them.</p><p>Inside the yard was a lush green split by a long winding driveway surrounded by trees. Pressing their faces up to the iron to look at the brick wall revealed a line of trimmed hedges and bright flower gardens.</p><p>Returning their attention to the center of the yard, the nations focused on the buildings inside. All three were painted red and white. The first building on the right side of the driveway was a barn judging by the large double doors. Further up the drive the smallest building, most likely a shed, sitting surrounded by sunflowers that were probably as tall as Russia. The last and biggest building was the house. They couldn't see many details, but the curtains seemed blue to England's eyes.</p><p><em>An unnecessarily large red, white, and blue house, typical America</em>, England thought as he half halfheartedly pulled on the gate. "How do we get in?"</p><p>"I could make the door open, <em>da</em>," Russia suggested with a creepy smile.</p><p>England paled a bit at what America's reaction might be to that. He had no doubt it would be loud, possibly involving multiple weapons, and that the Russian had the strength to do it. Really, he had only been voicing his thoughts aloud. "Let's leave that as an option for now." Russia shrugged.</p><p>England glanced around the gates. Hopefully, America hadn't forgotten that other people would have to get into his home and had made a way for them to do so. He spotted a white rectangle that had a round button on it, a doorbell. Hurriedly, because he just wanted this over with after that car ride, he pressed it.</p><p>Suddenly a voice came out of nowhere, "Hello, Jones residence. How may I be of service?"</p><hr/><p>Inside the control room there was one state with golden hair and skin who had a particularly gleeful grin on her red lips. <em>This was going to be so much fun. </em>If those nations set one foot across the property line, and she was sure they would,...<em>well York wouldn't be able to brag about how he had fought England way back when. It may not be the same thing but this would be enough to wipe that cocky smirk off his face.</em></p><p>"Cali," Delaware whispered as England finally reached for the doorbell after the nations had finished making fools of themselves. "You're up."</p><p>California smirked as she slid on her microphone head piece. She straightened her shoulders and tank top like a professional and waited for the small buzz. Seconds later the doorbell rang.</p><p>"Hello, Jones residence. How may I be of service?"</p><p>On screen England looked annoyed but he stayed polite. Which really was nice of him since they couldn't do much to the nations while they were outside and it would suck if the nations did something before they could enact revenge. "Yes, I need to speak with Mr. Jones."</p><p>California grinned. "One moment please." <em>Why make things easy on England?</em> Surely Google had the answer to that but right now she was only interested with one fact. "I'm sorry sir but you'll have to be more specific. Which Mr. Jones do you want to speak to?"</p><p>England's control of his anger was slipping. "How many Jones are there? I-"</p><p>"1,581,172."</p><p>"What!"</p><p>"There are 1,581,172 people in the United States with the last name Jones. Statistically, it's the 5th most popular last name."</p><p>England replied through his gritted teeth, "That's," he took a deep calming breath, "nice but I don't need to speak with all of them."</p><p>California interrupted, "That's why you need to tell us which one sir." <em>Oh, he's going to blow up now.</em> His face was turning red, he was breathing deeply, and France was backing away, the surest sign of England's anger if there ever was one.</p><p>Obviously, the states and France weren't the only ones aware of this because Germany pulled him away from the speaker and stepped up. "We would like to speak to Alfred F. Jones. Please."</p><p>California and half the other states in the room, although they wouldn't admit it, pouted at having their fun taken away. "One moment, I'll go see if he's available," she stated and leaned back into her chair.</p><p>The figures outside shifted and glanced at each other. They were all impatient but thought that the human on the other end was going to get America and soon they would be on their way. After a few moments of this Delaware nodded at California and she leaned forward again. In her best pity the poor little me voice she said, "I'm <em>so</em> sorry sir. But he's unavailable"</p><p>A nerve in Germany's head twitched. "It's important; we need to talk to him. Please go tell him that." the Nation's thick German accent had gotten thicker through the course of his words.</p><p>Most of the states would have backed down at that. None would have abandoned their mission, but they would have squeaked out an apology before shoving this problem onto Delaware. However, this was California and she never backed down. Honestly, why would she? Everyone knew her, everyone wanted to visit her, and she was, in one word, golden. She also had a bit of an ego problem but who cared. So, she just flipped her hair, leaned closer to the microphone, pushed out her chest, and purred, "I can't do that."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fact Time:</p><p>I can't remember where I found this fact, but there really are 1,581,172 people with the last name Jones. OR least there was in 2012.</p><p>Google is based out of California. Therefore, she gets to be in the control room and using Google, at least until she spills nail polish or something on the control panels.</p><p>California's official state nickname is the Golden State.</p><p>AN:</p><p>I was going to have as many "idots" as England says at the end of Pub and Go but he says it 31 times!</p><p>So, the best review I ever got was on this chapter. It basically said that the idiots, which were originally in Japanese, were jarring. Why is he thinking in Japanese, there’s not even an explanation. At first, I freaked out a little bc criticism, but I thought about it and it was 100 % valid. Not only that but I learned something about writing. If you include something useless but jarring it takes your reader out of the story you’re telling. It made my writing better and I honestly think of it every time I write.</p><p>That "something" that told England not to go to America's was Canada who, being his brother's neighbor, is aware that going to America's house that day would have consequences. Even if he didn't know what those would be or why they would occur.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Warning (You'll Regret It)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Germany gave a curt nod. "Then we will do what we have to." He turned to Russia and the big nation stepped forward to open the doors. Russia wrapped his hands around the bars. He began to pull and with every inch the bars bent his smile grew wider. The eyes of states in the control room almost popped out when he ripped the door off its hinges.</p><p>"Cali, did you really have to antagonize them? You do realize this is exactly what we didn't want to happen," Delaware hissed.</p><p>"Hey, don't you blame this all on me."</p><p>"I believe we have other things to worry about," Washington interrupted stoically.</p><p>California spun back to face her keyboard while Delawares’ cheeks turned red. "Of course. Thank you, Washington now hook me up to everyone." With the pressing of a few keys it was done. "Alright everyone, our borders have been breached. You know what we have to do. Alaska, Hawaii, Maryland, we'll keep you posted." Delaware nodded to Minnesota who clicked off the mentioned states’ head pieces. "Everyone else, put on your helmets."</p><p>Every state on the field put on an identical black helmet. Truthfully, if Russia had taken out his pipe it wouldn't do them any good, even though nothing short of dissolving the state governments could really hurt them, but that wasn't the purpose of them anyways. These helmets were meant to hide their identities. America had kept them hidden from the other countries for such a long time it would be an insult to their father if they wasted all that effort now.</p><p>"Alright, Colorado fire a warning shot."</p><p>From inside the barns’ hay loft Colorado brushed his reddish brown hairs away from his eyes, knocked an arrow into his bow, and took aim.</p><hr/><p>The nations had already gotten a few feet into the yard when an arrow embedded itself in the ground before their feet causing Italy to jump into Germany's arms.</p><p>England who at first was taken back scowled when he saw the paper attached to the arrow. He bent down and quickly removed it with a flourish. The other nations crowded around him so they could read over his shoulder.</p><p><em>Nations, </em>it began in a flowing script, <em>we kindly request that you turn back and return at a later time when America will be available. (We'd prefer if you called first.) If you refuse and continue on we will be forced to state our demands more firmly.</em></p><p>"Are they acting without America-kun's knowledge?" Japan questioned.</p><p>"Does it matter? It's not like they can do anything to us," England snorted and dropped the now crushed letter to the ground.</p><hr/><p>Colorado frowned, "I can't believe they just threw it on the ground like that. I worked hard to make it look all nice and official."</p><p>Delaware's sigh filled the earpieces of all the states on the field. "It was just a note."</p><p>"No, it wasn't. I used a special calligraphy pen and everything."</p><p>"You know calligraphy?" Rhode Island chirped from his elbow.</p><p>"Yeah, I-"</p><p>"Focus," Delaware commanded. "We have to give them a second warning to be fair."</p><p>"Ok, I'm on it."</p><p>"No, you're not Arizona is. We can't let them discover your location just yet."</p><p>Quiet laughter filled their earpieces as Arizona got ready to take her shot. She stood slowly, making sure that she wouldn't fall out of her tree post and took out her crossbow. With a particularly wild smirk, she fired.</p><p>This time scrawled on the letter was the message, <em>If you don't get out right now we swear you will NOT live to regret it. </em>However, the arrow was knocked over by England’s feet as he stormed forward. Only Italy looked back at the message with an ounce of trepidation.</p><p>"We've warned them and still they refuse to see reason. Fine. Dad can't fault us for this." Delaware swiftly pressed a large red button. This red button did just what you'd expect a big red button to do. It caused chaos.</p><p>Sirens started to scream and flashing red lights seemed to come out of nowhere. Steel plates slid over the mansions windows and the doors were all barred. America's bedroom sunk down two levels into an underground basement/bomb shelter so the Nation would be safe and wouldn't hear what his States were doing.</p><p>This of course cause meant that Alaska and Hawaii had to stop their tea party, pick up the table, and rush down to their new post.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fact Time:<br/>"USA Archery is the organization recognized by the U.S. Olympic Committee for the purpose of selecting and training men's and women's teams to represent the U.S in Olympic Games, Paralympic Games, and Pan American Games." (That's taken right off their website.) They're "headquartered" in Colorado Springs, Colorado.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Engaging the Enemy (Electricity and German Shepherds)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Who do they think they are?" California mumbled.</p><p>"Powerful nations of the world that can crush little states like us, I guess" Ohio answered.</p><p>"That was a hypothetical question."</p><p>"Well, you shouldn't ask if you don't want to hear the answer," Minnesota teased.</p><p>"Guys don't fight. But, I can understand why you're annoyed Cali. They're walking all over the place like they own it. They're not even paying any attention to the 'Don't Step on the Grass' signs," New Jersey remarked.</p><p>Washington glanced over, "Does it even matter if they step on the grass. We're about to do much worse to it."</p><p>"That's not the point," New Jersey huffed.</p><p>"Can one of you just push the button so we can get on with the next phase?" Delaware growled. He was met with five glares before they all spun back to their keyboards. Delaware sighed; his little siblings were crazy.</p><hr/><p>One of the states pushed the button and a bing announced that Team Dihydrogen Monoxide was good to go.</p><p>Mississippi flipped one switch from inside the mansion and went to a small window with her binoculars. "This is Agent River, reporting. All's fair over here, love and luck to Carolina, over."</p><p>Down closer to the Nations two strawberry blondes of opposite genders were messing with wires, being extra careful despite their cumbersome thick rubber gloves and boots. "We love you too River," they echoed, "but now it's time for war. " In unison they dropped a collection of wires into the water.</p><hr/><p>Italy screamed in surprise. "<em>Mein Gott</em>, Italy it's just a little water," Germany scolded as the sprinklers turned on. "Where are you going?"</p><p>The Italian nation was running to the path. He turned around once he was firmly in its center. "Ve, I'm sorry Germany but I don't want to get wet. My clothes would get dirty and Romano would yell at me," he whined.</p><p>France eyed the Italian’s spot and looked like he wanted to go join him, but England had a hold of his sleeve. "<em>Angelttere</em>, you don't have to hold me so tightly. I won't be leaving you." He raised his eyebrows and smiled suggestively.</p><p>"Shove off France. I just don't want you retreating because you're getting a bit wet. Wanker." England released France knowing he wouldn't back away now and began to curse America's staff. "Juveniles, really. As if a little water will make me leave. I'm the United Bloody Kingdom and I won't be washed away with the AHHHHH!"</p><p>From the path Italy gaped at the other nations as a near fatal amount of volts ran through their bodies.</p><p>The Nations, with the exception of Italy, bent over their knees panting.</p><p>"I...can't...believe they did that to <em>me</em>," France gasped pressing a hand over his heart.</p><p>"I have no such trouble," Japan stated.</p><p>Italy had dashed over as soon as he saw it was safe and was hovering around the others. "Germany, are you alright?"</p><p>"<em>Ja,</em> I will be," he grunted in reply.</p><p>England took a deep breath, wincing at the pain. "We need to get out of here. Any ideas?"</p><p>The other nations stared at England. Maybe he was used to having electricity run through his body, that would honestly explain a lot about his magic tricks, but they weren't and needed a little time to brace themselves.</p><p>China was the first to recover. “The only safe way is to go back."</p><p>"They might have come up with something else," Germany commented.</p><p>England's eyes were already narrowed with determination. "We'll have to risk it."</p><p>The Nations looked at each other before simultaneously taking off toward the exit.</p><hr/><p>Meanwhile, the states knew that letting them escape would be a mistake. The nations could have come back with reinforcements. It would be much better if they didn't have a chance to escape. However, the states weren't able to make traps and defenses pop out of nowhere and they couldn't put anything new down with the nations right there. But they always had a backup plan, even if some of them didn't exactly like said backup plan.</p><p>"Are you sure about this? I don't want any of them to be hurt," Illinois warily asked Virginia.</p><p>"Don't worry it's all part of the plan," she replied with cool confidence.</p><p><em>Isn’t this against a law or two?</em> Illinois frowned and reached down to scratch the ears of the German Shepherd at his feet.</p><p>Nevada charged up to him and glomped the shocked Land of Lincoln. "Yeah and if they do shoot them, we can hang them!"</p><p>He tried to look at the excited state that was clinging to his back. It was especially difficult because she was clinging very tightly and sort of chocking him. "What?"</p><p>Nevada slid down his back so she could flick her white hair over her shoulder. "It's one of my rules. If someone shoots your dog on your property, and this is more our property than their even if it’s technically Dad’s, you can hang them. Do you think they have any guns on them?"</p><p>"You're crazy, don't you care if they shoot Chewy?"</p><p>"Of course, I care," she huffed. "Why do you think I suggested we hang them?"</p><p>"I have rope," Texas offered with a happy go lucky smile.</p><p>Seeing Illinois's face getting rapidly paler Virginia decided to step in. "The dogs won't be hurt Illinois. They'll only be out there for a short amount of time and if there's any sign that the nations would hurt them, our siblings in the trees will open fire." That being said she turned back around to watch the nations.</p><p>Illinois was still not convinced that this task was safe but there was nothing he could do but hope for the best now. He knelt down beside the 26 inch tall dog and pulled it into his arms. "It'll be alright Chewy I believe in you," he whispered in its ear.</p><p>"You sure love that dog don't ya,"Texas said with a grin. "I'm sure he'll make us proud today."</p><p>Illinois smiled slightly and pulled away from the dog who took the space as a means to lick his face. Nevada cooed at the sight.</p><p>Stone faced Virginia turned back to her teammates, "Release the hounds."</p><hr/><p>A scream pierced the air. Rhode Island jumped straight up. "What was that?"</p><p>"One of the nations just saw the dogs," Maine stated.</p><p>"But I thought all those nations were male."</p><p>"They are.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I originally split this chapter in two with a Author’s Note in between. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea. I also forgot to put in a lot of sources and can’ find them again.<br/>And that last little but about screaming was originally an omake from the end of the next chapter. It throws off the rhythm a bit, but oh well.</p><p>Headcanon:<br/>Chewy the German Shepard is named after Chewbacca from Star Wars.</p><p>Facts:<br/>According to Forbes list of 10 Up and Coming Tech cities Columbus, Ohio is number 1. (This was a June 2008 list) As of 2019, it’s still a really good city for tech workers.</p><p>The Science and Engineering Readiness Index (SERI), which measures math and science scores, says that New Jersey primary education system is really good as of 2011. This is one I from the Huffington Post website.</p><p>Dihydrogen monoxide is the scientific name that's used on the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division website, it's a website dedicated to alerting the public to the dangers of water. The DMRD doesn't actually exist and the whole website is a joke and I'm not saying that to be mean it's literally a joke. (I do not know why I thought this was funny originally.)</p><p>Mississippi being called Agent River is a salute to the Mississippi River, which is the largest river system in the US.</p><p>Indigo is a plant which produces indigo dye. Early South Carolina made a lot of money on indigo and rice.</p><p>Treatments in early mental hospitals amounted to torture today. Being shocked to the point of near death was one such "treatment". (The nations were implying that they all think England is crazy and probably went through this.) One English hospital that was famous for its brutal treatment was Bethlem Royal Hospital, also known as Bedlam. Treatment for the mentally ill has greatly improved since then not that the bar was high or anything.</p><p>No seriously it's a state law in Nevada that you could be hanged for shooting someone's dog on their property. I don't know if that's actually enforced.<br/>Illinois's official state nickname is the Land of Lincoln.</p><p>Chicago Illinois was the top dog friendly dog city in 2005.<br/>German Shepherds, also known as Alsatians, make good guard dogs and according to the American Kennel Club website they were the number 2 most popular dog in the US in 2009, 2010, and from 2013 to 2018. The Labrador Retriever is number one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Backup Plan (Puppies, Spiked Pits, and Grenades)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A shrill whistle pierced the air. They knew that it meant trouble, but the nations couldn't stop. This was their chance and if they lost it the psychotic guards wouldn't let them leave alive. Out of the corner of his eye China saw a group shapes bounding towards them. He knew shouldn't, but he turned his head just slightly to see what they were. His eyes widened at the sight of nine dogs with sharp gleaming teeth coming after them. He screamed.</p><p>Japan's head quickly spun to look at China, but his eyes slipped past the Asian nation when he realized that he was looking at something. There were dogs that looked very angry but seemed to be smiling at the idea of ripping the nations apart. <em>Could dogs smile?</em> Japan wondered, <em>perhaps this is a matter for another time</em>. Identifying the breed, he yelled to his friend that was a few paces ahead of him, "Germany, some of your dogs are following us."</p><p>With a deep frown, Germany looked back. When the dogs saw that several sets of eyes were on them, they began to bark menacingly and run faster. Their barks did not escape the notice of the other nations. In unison they yelled, "Germany, do something!"</p><p>"I can't. They're very loyal breed and they weren't trained by me."</p><p>"You mean to say you can't control your own dogs," England attempted to snarl but was too breathless to manage it.</p><p>"They were bred in America," Germany's tone was hard and icy.</p><p>Extremely frustrated France shrieked, "So what are we supposed to do about them?" For a moment Russia considered pulling out his pipe but at the sight of the grinning dogs he decided that they were too cute to harm. Answering France's question Germany picked up his pace to pass the others.</p><p>As another whistle blew more dogs emerged in front of the Nations forcing them to abandon the exit. Instead they found themselves running back towards the house. England was now in the front and running as hard as could when the ground in front of him gave out.</p><p>His instincts kicked in immediately and before he knew it, he was clinging to the edge of a pit starring down at several sharp spikes. Fortunately for the other nations England's martyrdom gave them just enough time to save themselves. China and Italy leaped over while the others managed to swerve beyond its borders.</p><p>"You bloody gits help me!"</p><p>France was the only one that looked back. He paused realizing that the dogs had stopped following them and where now happily trotting back to whichever pit of hell they had come from. Apparently, the homicidal guards were hoping they would all fall to their deaths. <em>Please he was the mighty France. A country that could not be easily defeated because he could outrun any danger and … he sounded a lot like Italy.</em></p><p>"They have stopped," France called to the still running countries while he went to pull England out of the pit. The English nation was kicking his feet slightly trying to find a foot hold when France peered down at him. A large, perverted, smile slid onto France's face, "Need some help?"</p><p>"I can handle myself quite well thanks you." Despite England's words France reached down to help him up." Get your bloody hands away from there!"</p><p>This moment of peace would not last long for the nations.</p><hr/><p>Four states were waiting for their turn to fight. They're ready, eager, and kind of bored of waiting around. So as all states tend to do when bored, they began to talk, or to be more accurate they argued and criticized each other.</p><p>"Why did we send in dogs? Alligators would have been much better."</p><p>"We don't have enough water on the ground for the alligators to be fast enough to catch them," Kentucky answered.</p><p>"Water has nothing to do with it. They're quick to strike no matter where they are." Florida waved his arms wildly to prove his point.</p><p>"Please you know how fast Italy can retreat. With those stubby legs, do you really think they could catch him," Kentucky argued back.</p><p>"<em>Chérie</em>, they could hide in the grass. Trust me, they're quite good at that," Louisiana's drawl entered the argument.</p><p>"But they wouldn't be much use after that," Kentucky shot back.</p><p>Louisiana leaned further into the crate behind him. "Their job would be done after that."</p><p>New York emerged from the bushes with leaves still clinging to his blonde hair. "Will you stop already?"</p><p>Florida puffed out his cheeks. "I will not back down from my claim that alligators-"</p><p>"I don't care about your stupid argument. It's almost time."</p><p>"Really?" Florida beamed. "Let me see." The southern state dashed into the bushes. "Awesome!"</p><p>Kentucky and New York grabbed two Louisville sluggers and waited to have their 'balls' pitched to them. Louisiana slipped off his crate and opened it up. Florida reached around him and pulled out a grenade. "Batters up."</p><hr/><p>Now that England was out of the pit, the nations were taking advantage of the lack of dogs and electricity. While resting they talked about how in the world they were going to escape with all their limbs attached. Just as Italy was going to say something brilliant, yes he does have brilliant ideas the renaissance did start in his house, an explosion went off on their right side.</p><p>Without thinking the nations began to run.</p><p>If they couldn't escape this battlefield than they would just have to find a safe spot inside of it. A spot that these madmen would hesitate to attack. The manor was too far, they would be blown to bits halfway there, but they could make it to somewhere closer. Hopefully, the barn wouldn't be bobby trapped.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy Pride, stay safe out there. </p><p>Facts:<br/>France sounding like Italy is based on the American stereotype that it's the French who are cowards and surrender easily. <br/>Louisville, Kentucky is where the Louisville Sluggers (the famous baseball bats) are made. They have giant baseball bat leaning against their museum and factory.<br/>Although the origins of baseball are disputed. Many say that it was started by Alexander Cartwright, a New York resident.</p><p>The renaissance was a period of cultural enlightenment when interest in things like science and art began to grow once more (these interests were lost and improvement in science stopped after the fall of Rome and the beginning of the Dark Ages). It began in Italy (some say in Florence) and took place from the 14th century to the 17th spreading throughout Europe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Close Quarters (Molesting Rhode Island)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The grenades were coming less and less often. There were only a few more feet until they reached the barn and, hopefully, safety.</p><p>France was the first of the nations to reach the barn. He leaped at the doors and crashed through them. To his surprise, he didn't fall to the floor but landed on something warm and soft that smelled like violets. Seconds later the form underneath him began to squirm earnestly.</p><p>"Please don't hurt me," a high feminine voice begged. "I've got a cute little kitty."</p><p>France looked up and saw that underneath him was a young woman dressed in all black with a shiny helmet hiding her face. She did indeed have a small ball of gray and white fur in her hands. The kitten meowed and swiped its tiny paw at France.</p><p>Despite the explosions still going off outside and his exhaustion, France always had enough energy for a beautiful woman. He grinned lecherously at her and moved closer, which was difficult considering that he was already on top of her. "Put <em>le</em> <em>chat</em> down darling. We can forget this battle and do something much more enjoyable."</p><p>A commanding female voice broke through France's delusion, "Get off of her you stinking French pervert!" A sharp blade appeared before the nations nose. His eyes traced the cutlass up to the delicate hand holding it. This young woman was taller than the one underneath him; and as another nation, France didn't care who, burst inside with a gust of wind the hem of her long skirt flared up exposing the slightest bit of thigh to the French pervert on the ground.</p><p>Rhode Island squealed as a small trickle of blood fell down on her from the Frenchman's nose. This was not the reaction Maine had been hoping for. She slashed her blade to the side as she quickly moved closer to the nation who had not yet moved.</p><p>"I said to get off." Maine emphasized her point with a boot to his head. This also gave the French nation another peek up her skirt so not all the blood that flew upwards came from the gash her heel had left.</p><p>Normally England would be very pleased to see France beaten. But since it wasn't him who did the damage and the ones who were making him bleed would also do the same to him, he glared. The two New England states returned the glare back to their namesake. England took a few threatening steps forward but stopped when another form swung down from above and aimed an arrow at his chest.</p><p><em>Time for a change in strategy. Maybe reason will work</em>, England thought feebly. England slowly raised his hands into the air. "Come now, we don't mean you any harm. Why don't we-"</p><p>Two beams of light pierced through the darkness at the other end of the barn. Followed immediately by an engine roaring to life.</p><p>As the last nation finally burst in through the doors, England and France tried shoving them out. The nations began to protest but then they saw a vehicle charging toward them and changed their minds. All of them ran away leaving only a cloud of dust behind them. They ran so fast they didn't realize that the army jeep never left the barn.</p><p>Laughter filled the barn. "That'll teach that commie to target my city."</p><p>"Indiana, you do know that nothing was fired in the Cold War. Right?" Colorado doubtfully asked.</p><p>"Yeah, but he planned to, so I’m completely justified," Indiana stated regaining her calm as she sat back in the jeep.</p><p>Colorado sighed, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."</p><p>Maine, although she was trying to dust off Rhode Island before she ran off again, looked over at the two states in the jeep. "I'm surprised that you even got that old thing running."</p><p>Michigan leaned out of the driver’s seat and grinned. "You doubted us? Please, we practically live for cars."</p><p>"You admit it at last," Maine sighed.</p><p>Rhode Island, with her kitten now perched on her head, peeked out between the barn doors like she'd previously done before the nation’s arrival. "Guys you have to see this!"</p><hr/><p>"Brothers today we do God's work!" Massachusetts’s bold declaration was met with confused stares from his so called "brothers." The girls looked to the only other boy in hopes that he could translate the strange boy language. Wyoming looked just as lost as they did. "Let us remove this witch from the face of this planet!"</p><p>Now realizing what Massachusetts was talking about Wisconsin decided that she should try and calm him down before he tried to tie anyone to a stake. "Mass," she began with a cautious smile, "you said you regretted smiting witches last time. Remember? They were innocent."</p><p>Massachusetts scoffed. "This is different. This is England and that bloody witch will pay!" His voice had began at a normal sane volume and rose to insane screaming by the end of his mini speech.</p><p>Wyoming furrowed his brows, "Did he just use British slang?"</p><p>"We can't smite England just because he's a witch." Massachusetts shot a glare at Wisconsin alerting her to the tongue lashing she was about to receive.</p><p>"Shut it cheese head. I think I would know how to deal with witches."</p><p>"No, you don't, you've proved that. And I don't see how cheese head is supposed to be an insult. Cheese is wonderful. And it's-"</p><p>Knowing that the cheese rant was about to begin Connecticut intervened. "England's not a witch."</p><p>Mass stared at her with wide disbelieving eyes. "Of course, he is. He's said so himself. He's a witch."</p><p>"If he was a girl he would be, but he's not and that makes him a wizard. Haven't you read Harry Potter?"</p><p>Mass sputtered. "B-but that was just a book and-"</p><p>"They are not just books. They shaped a generation. You can't say they're just books!"</p><p>"I know that! I read them too. But historically-"</p><p>"Wait, then what's the difference between a wizard and warlock?" Wyoming asked.</p><p>Connecticut beamed at him. She loved every chance she got to show off her knowledge. "Well a warlock-"</p><p>"Can't this wait?" Delaware yelled, bringing them back to reality. "We have invaders in our home and they're gaining lands. I think a debate over magical beings, England's fail magic powers, and his sexuality can wait! Now attack!"</p><p>"When did we mention his sexuality?" The four debaters asked in unison.</p><p>They heard a loud smack signifying that Delaware had just face palmed. "Just go burn the witch."</p><p>Massachusetts grinned.</p><p>The four states rushed around inside the small shed, occasionally elbowing each other as they worked. Yet somehow, they were able to set up and aim the mortars correctly. With a dark look and careful fingers Wisconsin brought a small flame to life and fired the first of many rockets at the poor nations.</p><p>The colorful sparks chased after the nations and scattered across the ground. From all their posts the States watched the colorful lights with the same happy smiles that they always wore when fireworks were launched.</p><p>"It's beautiful," Georgia sighed.</p><p>"Yeah it is," Alabama agreed.</p><p>Kansas tilted her head, "But why are we using fireworks anyways?"</p><p>"Well we used all the actual non-firework rockets and since Dad refused to get us more, we had to improvise." Alabama frowned slightly. Not that the lack of rockets had stopped them from doing any less than America approved activities.</p><p>That didn't satisfy Kansas' curiosity. "But where did we even get these?"</p><p>"Let's just say this year's Fourth of July celebration may be lacking unless we replace them, it was West's idea."</p><p>"Virginia's going to kill him for that," Kansas sang.</p><p>Alabama laughed. "When did she start needing a reason to kill him?"</p><p>Georgia crossed her arms and furrowed her brows, "I'm starting to wonder if we're taking this too far."</p><p>Alabama spun to face her southern sister. "Don't you start second guessing now. We've come too far to back down."</p><p>"I know that, but this just feels wrong," she looked at the ground deeply conflicted. "The Fourth of July is Dad's birthday we shouldn't be using stuff reserved for it."</p><p>"I see what you're trying to say but this is for Dad, so it evens out," Alabama huffed.</p><p>"I guess so..." Georgia sighed.</p><p>"It's still pretty," Kansas chirped.</p><hr/><p>Across the battlefield, New Hampshire sighed. "Look at them run,"</p><p>"Yeah there's nothing better than watching your enemy run away from you with fear in their eyes," Ohio remarked with a smirk.</p><p>"I don't care about their eyes. Have you seen Germany's butt?"</p><p>"What!"</p><p>New Hampshire looked Ohio strait in the eye and said without a bit of shame, "Oh you heard that?"</p><p>Ohio's mouth opened and closed before he gained back his ability to speak, "We are at war with nations powerful enough to kill us if we make one mistake and you're checking them out!"</p><p>"Hey, don't look at me that way. Those powerful nations are out there flexing their muscles, getting all sweaty, and their hair is all messed up."</p><p>"I don't care how attractive they are, you should be able to control your hormones."</p><p>"Don't you think that's asking too much? I'm only a teenage girl."</p><p>"You're over 200 years old," Ohio shot back.</p><p>"But I have the body of a teenager and they have the bodies of sex gods."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Originally the last part was an omake and I'm not satisfied with how it fits in, but oh well. <br/>I forgot how much I love my Massachusetts.  </p><p>Facts:<br/>The Common Blue Violet is Rhode Island's state flower.</p><p>A cutlass is a short thin sword that can be either straight or slightly curved with a hilt(handle) that often has a guard. It was a preferred weapon for sailors. </p><p>The New England States are Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut.</p><p>Army Jeeps like the Willys MB and the Ford GPW were manufactured from 1941 to 1945 and are well known for their use in WWII.</p><p>"Indiana and Michigan living for cars." Michigan is the home of Detroit, which is known for its automobile industry. Indiana is the home of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.</p><p>During the Cold War Russia was considering bombing Gary, Indiana more than Washington DC because of the steel being made.</p><p>Burning at the stake was used as a punishment for heresy and (for women) treason in England and Wales. Scottish witches were burned. Burning people at the stake became illegal due to the Treason Act of 1790. America was still under English rule at this time.<br/>The difference between a wizard and a warlock depends on the context. Generally, warlocks are darker. The term witch as used in the witch trials is gender neutral. </p><p>The Salem Witch Trails in 1692 &amp; '93 led to the imprisonment of 9 people, 5 of whom died in prison, and execution of 20 people. In 2001 the Commonwealth of Massachusetts pardoned them.</p><p>There are several kinds of mortar. The one I refer to is used to launch projectiles. It's like a cannon (bad explanation).<br/>The oldest library in the US, The Scoville Memorial Library, (which was also the first to become publicly supported and free) is also in Connecticut. </p><p>New Hampshire was the 9th state to be added to the union on July 21, 1788, 232 years ago this year (2020).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The End (We are so going to get it now.)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was not part of the plan. The nations were supposed to have surrendered long before this. Actually, they weren't even supposed to have gotten in, but who knew Russia would rip the gate apart. It was very tempting to blame this all on California's taunting. But now wasn't the time to fall apart and start blaming each other. Both the fireworks and time were running out.</p><p>
  <em>How did they get past everything?</em>
</p><p>Delaware sat rigidly in a black leather swivel chair in the middle of the control room. As he watched the nations speed closer his hands gripped the arm rests until his fists turned white. There was nothing he could do but let his younger siblings work; and they were furiously trying to stop the nations. The control room was filled with the sound of their fingers flying over computer keys. They were on the edge of their seats leaning over keyboards with their heads craned towards their screens.</p><p>"No. No. No." Washington began to chant in a whisper from his station. That was not a good sign. Delaware turned to face his younger brother but jerked towards California as her fist slammed down, shaking her station with the force of one of her earthquakes.</p><p>A heavy silence fell as all the previously working states slid away from their keyboards. Even though Delaware knew he wouldn't like the answer and despite the dry frog in his throat he asked the dreaded question, "What's wrong?"</p><p>Minnesota was the one that faced him. "What do you think happened! Our systems have frozen." Tears of frustration began to flood into her pale blue eyes, "There's nothing we can do."</p><p>"We failed," New Jersey breathed out while she held her face in her hands.</p><p>Delaware stood up with a shout, "No! We can still stop them before they get into the manor."</p><p>His siblings blankly stared at him until California caught up with his train of thought, "You can't be thinking of using that."</p><p>"We have no other choice." They stared at him with wide eyes. "What are you doing just standing around? If some of them manage to escape this, we'll need the defenses in the house. Get those systems running again." Delaware brought his microphone up and licked his lips before sending out the order.</p><p>"Mexico!"</p><p>"It's NEW Mexico."</p><p>Delaware ignored the remark. "We need you. Get the secret weapon out!"</p><p>"The secret weapon," New Mexico gasped. "Are you sure about this?"</p><p>"Our systems have stalled, we’re defenseless. Yes, I'm sure!"</p><p>"Copy that," New Mexico whispered before he took off at a run. <em>The Secret Service was going to kill them if Tony didn't first.</em></p><hr/><p>The Nations were closing in on the mansion. They could even see that there was a blue mat in front of the door. Then the ground shook. They stumbled, and although their instincts screamed at them to keep running, their legs locked, and their heads slowly turned to look behind them. They saw nothing but a circular shadow on the ground behind them. Something had to be casting the shadow, so all at once their necks slowly craned upwards.</p><p>Hovering above the ground and quickly approaching them was a disk-shaped craft. The sun reflected off its top and the underside gave off a soft multicolored glow. They knew what it was but could hardly believe it. They were being attacked by a large flying saucer.</p><hr/><p>Americas eyes opened slowly. He thought he had heard something. A young blonde woman whose hair was in two high pigtails and was dressed in a maid uniform entered his sights. She had the sweetest, most innocent, eager to please voice as she asked the nation, "Do you need anything?"</p><p>"Nah," America yawned. "I thought I heard something."</p><p>A dark gleam entered her eyes. "Oh, don't worry about that, sir. I'm sure whoever it is will be taken care of shortly."</p><p>America sat up and frowned at his state. "Sir? Did you just call me sir?"</p><p>Maryland's eyes widened just a bit and her smile grew more strained. "Why would you think that?"</p><p>America put his feet on the floor and leaned closer to her face. "You're <em>lying,</em>" he gasped. "You just totally called me sir. But why did you do that? You guys only call me sir when we're a war. But we haven't declared war on anybody. Somebody would have at least texted me if we were at war. So, what are you doing?"</p><p>"Nothing," she squeaked quickly. "Aren't you tired? You should go back to bed, si- Dad."</p><p>"You went to war! Didn't you?" America began to throw off his pajamas, not caring that he wasn't alone and that he was probably doing something France approve of. (Silly America, France would do much more than get dressed in front of her. That is if he had switched places with America and wasn't running for his life.)</p><p>"Who did you attack this time?" America yelled as he flung open his door. The two states standing outside quickly jumped on their father to prevent him from leaving the safety of his bedroom. America gently peeled them off and charged up the stairs.</p><p>"I keep telling you to stop attacking the mail man. I mean, I'm all for creativity and new hobbies but I like to get the newspaper in one piece occasionally." It had taken him years, and a lot of money, to get his states to stop attacking the mail man and he was almost certain that they had taught all dogs to take up the practice. How they could had done it, America didn't know. But he knew to never underestimate his states. If they had started tormenting public servants again, his boss would not be happy. Postal workers were government paid after all.</p><p>"No dad," the three states screamed as their dad began to climb the steps. "You can't go out there!"</p><p>America gasped and spun around to face his states. "It's Sunday. Sunday papers come in the morning and it's after the meeting. That's not the mail man out there is it?"</p><p>They glanced at each other and activated their metaphorical mind links. "You're right Dad. It's not the mail man," Maryland admitted. "It's...it's…"</p><p>Hawaii eagerly jumped in to save the story. "It's the aliens!"</p><p>"The aliens," America echoed.</p><p>"Yeah," Alaska nodded. "We don't know why, but they've totally betrayed us and attacked."</p><p>"They've attacked? No, Tony would never let that happen. I have to go find out what's wrong," and with that heroic declaration the nation ran off to save the day.</p><p>The three states left behind stared at their nation trying to imagine what terrible punishment they would receive when he found out that Tony was innocent this time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Facts:<br/>The San Andreas Fault lies along part of California's coast before going inside the state. This fault is a boundary between the Pacific and North American tectonic plates and is responsible for the large amounts of earthquakes that happen in California. It's actually visible not hidden beneath the ground or sea.</p><p>A UFO supposedly landed near Roswell New Mexico in the summer of 1947. The aliens collected from this incident are allegedly kept in Area 51 which is officially an airbase located in southern Nevada.</p><p>Head Cannon:<br/>I think it would be funny if the states would blame a lot of things on Tony. Not that he's always at fault. Just when Tony first arrived on Earth he wouldn't know everything about it. So, he would have made some mistakes and the states could have used that to their advantage. The same way you might blame your dog for breaking something when actually it was your fault. America doesn't always catch on to that because he's blinded by his love for his states and sees them as sweet little angels. That's going to change though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Truth (You're not an Alien)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With steady hands New Mexico activated the weapons system. The glowing bottom of the craft began to focus into a bright beam. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed to have prefect aim for this. If he missed not only would the nations make it into the house, but he would hit the house. He opened his eyes.</p><p>The nations just reached the porches' wide white steps. They began to surge up them but not gracefully. Italy tripped and almost tumbled down. At the same time, France and England crashed together and were stuck in between two pillars for a moment.</p><p>They were desperate to escape. But New Mexico was ready to fire without mercy.</p><p>At that moment the doors to the mansion were flung open and standing in between them like a warrior angle was America. England felt his eyes beginning to tear while Italy full out bawled.</p><p>America paid them no mind as he focused on the spaceship flying towards them. Then he did the unthinkable. He started striding toward it.</p><p>Inside the craft New Mexico was panicking. On the screen in front of him, which was so cool just like an IMAX, he could see the slight frown on his father's normally smiling face. His dad was determined to stop this and unless he knew that the person inside was friendly, he would attack first and apologize later. <em>If there's anything left of me to apologize to. Dad really doesn't know his own strength. </em></p><p>It was a fate he really wanted to avoid, but how to do it? He could open the craft and expose himself. That would stop America, but the other nations would see him too. If they found out he was a state could they push Dad to get rid of them? Or more likely they would want to use them to influence him. They would also be really mad at Dad, maybe enough to start a war.</p><p>If possible, New Mexico paled further and broke out into a cold sweat.</p><p>What if America didn't attack? Maybe he thought the pilot was a friendly alien that got confused. That would be even worse. The craft was moving very fast. America could get hurt...</p><p>With that thought ringing in his head New Mexico jerked the controls. The saucer's front tipped toward the ground while the back tipped up towards the sky. It rumbled in protest as it crashed into the ground and threw sparks up into the air.</p><p>The most terrifying moments of New Mexico's life ended with the flying saucer halting right in front of America's feet. A new ditch trailed behind him, but he would gladly take damaging the yard over hurting his dad.</p><p>New Mexico's relief was short lived. America hopped up and pried open the saucer's door.</p><p>"Dudes, what's wrong with you? Why'd you go and- oh!" America's eyes widened at the sight of his dark-skinned state. Then within moments his eyes narrowed. All that carefree confusion drained from his face. In its place was the same deadly serious nation that faced the states after the Civil War. "What did you do?"</p><hr/><p>Maryland rushed out of the mansion, leaping over China and Italy, both of whom were leaning against each other, although Italy was still crying a bit. She continued charging down the yard and jumped between New Mexico and America. She threw her arms out in attempt to shield her brother from both the nations sight and America's cold stare. "Please," she begged. "Wait."</p><p>America now focused his gaze on her. "Explain," he ordered abruptly.</p><p>"It's... well... we were just trying to do what you said."</p><p>"What I said," America repeated slowly thinking over everything he had said. "Dudes no. This is not cool," the cold tone had disappeared from his voice, but it was still as commanding as ever. He reached up to Maryland's face and tore off her headphone/microphone and held it up to his face.</p><p>"Listen up. All of you are to go to your rooms and stay there."</p><p>Instantly he heard many protests.</p><p>"We were just trying to help."</p><p>"You looked so beat."</p><p>"They broke the door."</p><p>"We warned them."</p><p>"Like, you can really fault us for-"</p><p>"That's enough,” America interrupted. “You were given an order. Now carry it out. Go to your rooms and I'll talk to you later."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"March!"</p><p>The first one to move was a section of bushes that detached itself from the rest and stomped forward. Other states soon followed emerging from inside the buildings, dropping from the trees, and standing up from a grassy knoll. Most left with their heads down, trying to appear apologetic. A few stormed by the nations. But every last one of them shot deadly glares at them as they passed them.</p><p>Several states, despite having just attacking the nations 'unprovoked,' did have manners. In fact, Southern Carolina considered himself to be a perfect southern gentleman. Therefore, he made it a point to wipe his feet on the doormat before entering the house. He would claim that the mud on his boots was hard to get off and that's why he pulled back his feet back a little too hard and hit England. It was merely an 'accident' and was in no way planned.</p><p>The other nations could only move aside and stare.</p><p>
  <em>Why did America have so many armed guards just lying about in camouflage all over his yard?</em>
</p><hr/><p>Maryland was the only state left outside. They were going to be in so much trouble she just knew it. The worst part was, in her opinion, that she hadn't actually done anything. If she was going to be punished, she would have at least liked to get a good shot at England. She felt her ponytails drop a bit at that thought. So, what if they had it all on tape and she could watch his suffering again and again. It didn't make up for not being able to participate.</p><p>The only thing she could do now was to try and lessen their punishment.</p><p>She glanced over at the nations. They were still dazed and far enough away that they wouldn't hear her. With that in mind she let her mouth slide into a sad but adorable little pout. "We were just trying to make you happy, Daddy. You work so hard for all of us and we know that it's not an easy job." Her voice was shaking now, "You looked so tired today and we just...we just wanted to...to give something back to you. 'Cause we love you. We really do." She looked up at America with her best teary puppy dog eyes.</p><p>"Maryland," he sighed. "Don't cry. I understand, I really do, but what you did was wrong." America ran his hands through his hair. He was trying to stay strong against her tears but the state in front of him knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He never could stand to see one of his states hurt.</p><p>"And we're really sorry about that, Daddy. But one thing led to another and we got so caught up in it. Once it all started, we knew we couldn't stand to fail you." That was true, except for the part about being sorry for it. "We'd do anything to make this up to you." <em>As long as they didn't get punished.</em></p><p>"I...ok. Why don't you go get the nations some snacks or something? Then we can just sit down and talk about this later?"</p><p>She nodded making sure to give him a slight smile before dashing back into the mansion.</p><p>This time she only had to jump over China. Russia had tried to help him up, but China's knees gave out again due to his fear of big nation.</p><p>Maryland was willing to bet they would recover from all the physical injuries in no time. She really didn't care about their mental trauma, well maybe about Japan's but only because she was such a fan of his manga.</p><p>Once inside she headed straight for Delaware, who had managed to still be in command due to the others panic. As soon as they were close enough to talk to each other without having to yell over their sibling’s chatter, his attention was solely hers. <em>Well that's new.</em></p><p>"How much trouble are we in, on a scale of one to ten?"</p><p>Maryland tilted her head to the side as she considered his question. "Well if we're all crying when he comes in, I'd say a five at least. But we should definitely take down bobby traps."</p><p>In response Delaware stuck his head around the corner and into the living room, "New Hampshire, take them down." Apparently, New Hampshire had been in charge of the bobby traps in the house, Maryland almost felt jealous of that. Delaware focused back on her, so Maryland's mind had to stop wandering. "And what if we aren't crying?"</p><p>"Eight," she answered without a hint of doubt.</p><p>Delaware's stared at her, an eight was a very bad score. The States had ranked their punishment after the Civil War as a nine and they had almost destroyed each other then. They really had no clue how they would ever get a ten without using nukes. "But you just talked to him," he mumbled.</p><p>"And he's now talking to the Nations," Maryland snapped back at him. "By the time he returns, he'll be mad again."</p><p>Delaware nodded, "Alright we need to cry for our lives." He paused for a moment to think about that. All the states had to be crying but there was one little bitty huge problem with that strategy. "We're never going to get Nevada and California to cry."</p><p>"We can if we try hard enough." Maryland grabbed his arm and started pulling him out of the room towards the living room and its large flat screen.</p><p>Realizing what she had planned Delaware raised his voice above the noise. "Someone quickly get onions, lemons, and the Titanic movie."</p><p>Maryland squeezed his arm tightly. "We don't have enough time for the Titanic."</p><p>"Right something that starts out sad. What other movies get girls crying? Paranormal Activity?"</p><p>Maryland stared at him a moment before deadpanning, "I'll excuse that commit because you're stressed." She let go of his arm and called out to the states rushing about, "Someone find PS: I Love You, please!"</p><p>Wyoming paused as he walked by with a big box of sparking wires in his arms and shook his head. "PS: I love you. Please, that's a strange title."</p><p>Maryland frowned at him and New Hampshire, who was hanging upside down from the ceiling, rolled her eyes. "Boys," they echoed.</p><p>From the room across from them they heard a frustrated Virginia cry, "No you can't have any comfort food Nevada!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Facts:<br/>Death Valley the hottest and driest place in the US. It is located in the states of Nevada and California. Nevada is the driest state.</p><p>The Civil War was called many different names during the war. SOme examples are: The War of Southern Succession, The War of Southern Rebellion, The War for States' Rights, The Great Rebellion. There’s 29 recorded. My favorite name is the War Between the States. That's where this little bit of Headcannon comes from.</p><p>Headcannon:<br/>America, the nation's personification, did not fight in the Civil War. This was something that was completely between the states. He knew about the damage being done to both sides, but it was the states that suffered. This is why bonding time is required.</p><p>Also, all the 13 original colonies have a bit of a problem with England but for a good reason. See the colonies alone weren't strong enough to personify until America was on the brink of becoming a nation. (If England had won the American Revolution the States would have died.) So, you could say that they were born out of the Americans hatred of the British rule and the original 13 will never be able to forget that part of themselves.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Playing Politics (What America has Learned from his Politicians)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>America turned and watched as Maryland ran into the house. Once she was indoors, he approached the other nations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a very tricky position his states had put him in. He had to calm the others down enough so that wouldn't declare war over this. So, he shouldn't let them have any time to think about what they had just went through. But he also needed to know exactly what had happened. Were the states just defending themselves? Another nation could have hurt them even without meaning to. They must have been really scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America sighed. He needed to handle this with the utmost care and caution. He vaulted over the porch's small fence and landed right in front of the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey dudes, what's up?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>England turned red and America could have sworn steam was coming out of his ears. "What's up?," England hissed through his teeth. "That's all you have to say. What's up? We've nearly been killed by your psychotic men, that's what's up!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America ruffled the back of his hair with one hand and chuckled awkwardly. "Dudes I know you've had a totally stressful day, but you know what'll make you feel better? That's right, you just need to sit down, chillax, have some grub, and then we can talk about what you're doing here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America slipped between the nations and enthusiastically opened the door. Behind his back the others paled. America expected them to go inside that house. The one that those monsters had just gone into. There couldn't be enough space in there to avoid their dogs or the grenades and definitely not the fireworks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noticing that no one was approaching the door, in fact a few looked to be inching away, America turned around. He stared at them from the doorway before grabbing a hold of England's wrist and dragging the unfortunate nation inside. England dug his heels into the ground but was unable to save himself. Not wanting to die alone, he grabbed onto the nation nearest to him, Japan. This inevitably led to each nation being more or less forced into the house, much like how they were all dragged into equally bad situations like the World Wars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once America had them all inside, he picked up his pace. The following nations tried to memorize their path so that they could make a quick escape. But the American kept gaining speed. Dashing around a corner he almost dislocated England's shoulder. However, they reached their destination before that could happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The large room they stopped in had a set of cream-colored couches which were very comfortable, England discovered this when America threw him onto one. The couches surrounded a dark coffee table. The floor was covered by a thick soft blue carpet and one wall was made of glass. That would make escape easier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing that England hadn't been blown up when he landed, the other nations cautiously sat down. Well Italy attempted to sit on Germany's lap, for extra protection, but was 'gently' forced to sit on the couch. Since they were still alive the nations let go of some of their fear and focused on another emotion, anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the death glares, to put it mildly, America didn't feel any fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So," he dragged the word out while wringing his hands like a five-year-old. "I'm going to get the snacks I promised." He dashed out of the room to retrieve said snacks. But not because he was nervous or maybe just a little bit frightened. That wouldn't have been heroic. He just knew that if he waited too long the states would eat them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment he was out of the room the nations began whispering about their escape and/or revenge plans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several hallways away from the room he left the nations in, America slowly opened an innocent looking door. Behind this door, in what is known as a kitchen to everyone that hasn't eaten England's food and the torture chamber to everyone that has, the states were putting the finishing touches on the snacks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a teary smile Alabama walked up to her father and presented the snack filled tray. Careful not to let his face soften at the states pleading looks or spill the snacks America took the tray and quickly returned to the nations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America happily flounced back into the room. "Alright dudes so here's the snacks I promised. Eat up." Not one of the nations moved. They just stared at the food laid out before them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America had been raised by England. Did that mean that his food was just as deadly? They hadn't seen him eat anything but fast food in years and didn't know if they could trust the small garnished sandwiches and the brown liquid that wasn't fizzing. Maybe if they just ignored the supposed food it would go away. Maybe America's alien friend would eat it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having had a chance to recover from his trip inside and no fear of horrible food England was ready to strike at his former colony. "I don't care about your bloody snacks!" England stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. "Who the hell were those psychopaths?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was not a question America wanted to answer. <em>Oh, them? They're just my states. You know the ones that are united so that I can basically, well, exist. Yeah, I know you used to control their land but they're my states so don't bomb them or try to convince them to do anything with you. Ok guys?</em> That would go over real well. America could almost hear over 300 years’ worth of protection efforts flushing down to the sewers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dude, calm down," he said half pleadingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>England stamped his foot on the ground. "No, I will not calm down until you explain this!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jeez dude...this was all a misunderstanding." The statement was met with unbelieving stares that made it obvious he wasn't going to get away with such a simple explanation. "They just...well they were trying to do the right thing, but they spook really easy and got carried away. Honestly. They didn't mean it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't care if they didn't mean it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>England was about to go on another rampage when Japan interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who were they, America?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America paused to consider how to word this. After a couple of moments, during which England's glares became increasingly fierce, he answered. "Well they're some people who have vowed to take care of me." <em>They kind of did that when they joined the Union.</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like guards?" China narrowed his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I do have state police that protect the law so...</span>
  </em>
  <span> "Yeah you could say that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should teach them to better handle these kinds of situations to prevent any more...misunderstandings, <em>mon ami,</em>" France stated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America smiled hesitantly. "Well, some of them are new." <em>New...well I'm talking to some really old countries. Even though they won't admit it. I guess someone fifty years old is new to them. So, I'm not lying. Lying is not something heroes do. They just misunderstood, like I wanted them to.</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eager to distract them America gracefully changed the topic. "Woah, I haven't even had one of these yet." He flopped down onto the nearest coach and bent over the gleaming snack tray. "I better have one before they're all gone right?" Not of the sandwiches before them had been eaten and not a drop of the drink had been poured yet. Awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America scarfed down three sandwiches and a glass of what he discovered was peach tea before he moved on to the next order of business. "Dudes why are you here anyways?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Germany cautiously took a sip of the iced tea to clear his throat. "Yes, you seem to have one of my papers."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America almost giggled at that. <em>No way.</em> <em>He had to be joking.</em> Instead he waved his hand back and forth. "One of your papers? Seriously, no. Why would I have one of your papers?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Germany scowled at America's carefree reply. "We were sitting beside each other at the meeting. My paper must have got mixed into yours and you walked off with it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At Germany's explanation Italy started squirming in his seat. He hadn't been paying attention before they left the meeting, which isn't surprising since so much had happened and he had pasta at the time, but he hadn't known <em>that</em> was why they came. He only wanted to come because everyone else had already agreed to go. He reached out and hesitantly tugged on Germany's sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah Germany," he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not now Italy." Germany brushed his ally’s hand away and focused once more on America. "You should take your time to do things thoroughly rather than rushing off and leaving nothing but troubles for-" Italy tugged on his sleeve again only to brushed off. But the Mediterranean nation didn't give up. Although his hands grew a little slippery, he pulled again and again until Germany snapped at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is Italy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Italy shrank back and started twirling his fingers around each other. "Um...Germany, you know how we're really good friends, and friends are supposed to help each other."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not getting what Italy was hinting at, Germany's frown grew deeper. "What is your point Italy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Italy looked down at his lap, still squirming with nervousness. His explanation flew out of his mouth with the speed of a retreating Italian. "I only wanted to be a good friend to you and I realized that one of your papers was on the ground so I picked it up and I- Well, Japan came over and then you started talking about visiting America and I ha-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Germany clamped his hand over one of Italy's flying arms. "What are you trying to say?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your paper's in my briefcase."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All emotions quickly drained from Germany's face. Then a deep red began to fill it back up. He dropped Italy's arm and stood up. He turned away sharply and headed for the door. Only when it was closing behind him did he say, "Good day America."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Italy having been abandoned on the couch squawked, "Germany! Wait for me!" Then rushed out after the blonde nation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Japan, as he was the only Axis left in the room, felt that it would only be proper to leave with those he came with. He politely thanked America for his hospitality and departed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Allied nations stared speechlessly after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe it," France murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since the silence was already broken America turned to the guests still sitting. "So why did you guys come?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Comrade," Russia began. "We have had parties together before, but you left us."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," England burst out. "Just forget it. We all came in the same car and I for one am not walking home. Not after today..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This reminded the remaining nations that they had been attacked multiple times today and that their attackers were somewhere inside the building. They all silently decided that tea must have been spiked to make them forget that while their clothes still scorched and muddied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>England hurried to the safety of the car. But he couldn't escape the feeling that someone was watching him. Something in his gut told him to ignore it and keep going but he couldn't. He glanced back at the house sitting innocently behind him. His eyes scanned it for the source of the malicious feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There, in the highest window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pair of eyes filled with an evil green glow looked down at him. England whipped his head around, picked up his pace, and climbed into the car without looking back once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never thought about how those eyes matched his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America led the rest of them to the door and watched as they all got in the car. One of the Allies must have had the keys because Italy had been hugging Germany's legs and begging for forgiveness, while Japan stood awkwardly nearby, when the Allies reached the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>America leaned against the doorway as the car drove away. He surveyed the scorched and muddy yard. His states had done all this without waking him up. He didn't know whether to be angry or impressed. America then noticed that they hadn't done any damage to either the gardens or the mailbox. Yeah, he was impressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But only a little bit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Facts:<br/>Hawaii joined the union in 1959, 53 years ago at the time of the writing. America rounded.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Punishment (Don't speak Tony to me!)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Many of the states have one food that's special to them. It's normally one that originated from their place or it's something they're known for. But the one rule, which applies only during bonding time, is that you do not mess with their food. There was no borrowing or sampling allowed. No exceptions. So, getting their <em>guests</em> decent "snacks or something" with no time to do so was going to be difficult.</p>
<p>What kind of snacks do you serve to seven foreign countries? Really, some of them were known the entire world round for their food and not in a bad way like England.</p>
<p>Somehow Delaware didn't think chips and dip were going to cut it. So, he decided to bend the rule for the sake of surviving.</p>
<p>The First State took a deep breath and committed verbal suicide, "Since we don't have enough time to make anything. We'll make sacrifices. Wisconsin, I know you have a mini fridge in your room, so surrender your cheese."</p>
<p>Wisconsin, who had been half inside a cupboard searching for food, halted. She slowly withdrew and threw a deadly glare at Delaware. "No, never," she hissed.</p>
<p>Delaware ran his hands threw his hair. He knew she wouldn't like this, but he had still hoped she would agree. "Wisconsin, do you want to die?"</p>
<p>Completely ignoring the question, The Badger State hissed back a question of her own. "Why do I have to give up my cheese and no one else has to do anything?"</p>
<p>"Because, nothing else can match up to the superior awesomeness of your cheese." Delaware smiled at his sister, hoping that she would open up to his sucking up.</p>
<p>She smirked at him for a moment but quickly went back to frowning. "I'm not surrendering my cheese."</p>
<p>Before they could leap at each other's throats North Dakota intervened, "Maybe you should let them handle it, since they're not just fighting about what to do."</p>
<p>Delaware and Wisconsin followed the line from North Dakota's finger and found out that some of their siblings were already working quietly.</p>
<p>Georgia had a pitcher full of a light honey brown liquid before her and was stirring sugar into it. At another counter Vermont was cutting the crusts off of little triangular shaped sandwiches. The moment both of them finished, New Jersey slipped into the room carrying a large silver tray with small plates and tea cups carefully balanced on top.</p>
<p>Delaware blushed at his previous actions but smiled slightly. Despite how aggravating his siblings could be they always pulled through. "What are you doing?" He asked softly as he came to stand behind New Jersey.</p>
<p>Vermont eyed Delaware before answering his question. "Georgia's making peach tea, I made cucumber sandwiches, and we're having Nevada and California make lemonade."</p>
<p>"You guys are pretty amazing," Delaware praised.</p>
<p>New Jersey giggled. "Yeah, they were cutting onions but when that didn't make them cry, we thought that we might as well have them squeeze lemons. That way the juice might get into their eyes or a cut or something. They're not crying yet but we're going to have some great lemon aide."</p>
<p>Delaware sighed. His siblings might be amazing, but they were also amazingly screwed up.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Meanwhile in the living room, Maryland was supervising the efforts to get California and Nevada to cry. It wasn't going too bad. California was already bawling into New York's shoulder as he rubbed her back. But Nevada hadn't yet even shed one tear. But as Maryland stared at her eyes, from about five inches away, she saw that there were tears forming but they weren't coming out.</p>
<p>"Come on Nevada, do you want to get in trouble?"</p>
<p>"N-no," she whined, "But I just c-can't."</p>
<p>"Forget this. We should pinch her," New Hampshire said.</p>
<p>"Or we could use the strappado."</p>
<p>Maryland spun around. "What's wrong with you, Massachusetts? We can't torture our sister."</p>
<p>"Nothing else is working," he grumbled in his defense.</p>
<p>As time passed, more states began gathering in the living room. Each one offered a new way to hopefully make her cry. None of them worked.</p>
<p>Virginia was the last to arrive. As soon as she sat down, on the arm of an already occupied chair, America entered.</p>
<p>He stood in the doorway and stared at the states. <em>Of course, they didn't go to their rooms</em>. He went and stood at the center of the room so that he was visible to them all. He began to pace from one end of the room to the other. The states watched him. He ran his hands through his hair. Then he stopped and put his hands on his hips. He turned to face the spot where most of the states were sitting. His eyes were blazing. His face was set in stone. He meant business. No one said a word, a tense silence hung in the air.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth to begin his lecture, but Nevada broke first.</p>
<p>She flung herself at him and clumsy he caught her. She clung to his shoulders and wept into his chest. All of America's attention was taken by the sobbing girl. The States watched with bright, twinkling eyes. They were saved.</p>
<p>After several minutes America managed to peel the sobbing Silver State off of himself and passed her off to one of her neighbors. Now he was free to punish the states, not that he was really looking forward to it.</p>
<p>"What you did was really, really bad. What made you think that was even a good idea? You could have really gotten hurt and for such a stupid reason. You should have known better."</p>
<p>America let out a deep heavy sigh. He really knew how to lay on the guilt trips. "I don't feel like I can let you out of my sights again. In fact, I'm not. The next bonding time I will be here to supervise the whole thing, no exceptions. This kind of stuff is not going to happen again. We'll do something that won't include any violence or explosives."</p>
<p>Now a lot of the bonding time activities have violence in them. Not purposeful I'm going to kill you violence, but sports and battle reenactments, because it was always fun for them to pretend to beat up Britain.</p>
<p>South Carolina raised his eyebrow and asked, "And what will that be?" His northern twin jabbed her elbowed into his side.</p>
<p>Thankfully America didn't snap at the disrespectful remark. "Well I don't know," he answered. Then he looked around the room and started towards a cabinet in the far corner of the room. He tugged on the handle. It refused to move so he tried again and again. After he put his foot on the wooden door and yanked on other door's tarnished handle the cabinet sprang open. It was full of dust covered games. He reached in and randomly grabbed one, and then flung it across the room at the nearest state.</p>
<p>The others crowded around Massachusetts. The old purple box in his hands proudly displayed the yellow words "Don't Wake Daddy." The irony was not lost on the states.</p>
<p>Their lecture was not over. "Now I want you all to go up to your rooms and think about what you've done. First thing tomorrow morning you're all going home." He crossed his arms over his chest and watched as the states started to obediently head to their rooms.</p>
<p>"Wait a minute!" America scooped up a basket that had randomly shown up in the house. Not that random objects turning up was an unusual thing in this house. They had long ago stopped being surprised after a cow statue appeared atop the dining room table. "I want all your phones," America commanded.</p>
<p>The states stared at him like he had just spoken Tony’s jumbled curse-filled language.</p>
<p>America narrowed his eyes at them. Did they think he was actually going to forget their phones? What was the point of sending them alone to their rooms if they were just going to text, tweet, and act like they weren't getting punished? "You heard me."</p>
<p>Reluctantly their hands slipped into their pockets, purses, and other places. Slowly they handed them over, even though America had to pry New Jersey's from her hand.</p>
<p>After he counted them to ensure that no one had escaped, he nodded and spoke again, "You'll get these back when you arrive at your own houses."</p>
<p>He let them begin to walk away once more, this time their heads did hang low with the pain of their loss. Then he called out to them again. "I want those tapes."</p>
<p>As one the states froze. Maryland's face resembled The Scream, her hands on each side of her face and her mouth opened in a long oval. Her skin turned a greenish orange at that demand. Those tapes had recorded everything; China's scream, Maine threatening France, everything. It was more than just their blackmail; it was proof of their achievement. But they had no choice.</p>
<p>Once the video was in his hand America let them go. His arms were again crossed, the basket full of phones was at his feet, and he had firm stern expression in place.</p>
<p><em>Hopefully, the States would learn their lesson. </em>America sighed and smirked. <em>Who was he kidding? Of course, they wouldn't.</em></p>
<p>Later that night, America sat in a darkened room with Tony at his side. The only light in the room came from the screen before them. Popcorn in hand they were completely focused on the images of the running nations. Both of them were attempting not to laugh too hard so that they didn’t choke.</p>
<p>The moment the first firework was launched across the yard America lost control. The force of his laughter caused his chair to tip back and fall to the floor. He rolled away from the wreckage and slapped his hand against the floor.</p>
<p>"This is what they're reduced to without me?" His whole body shook with laughter. "I am so totally their hero!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well that’s the end. Thank you for joining me on this walk down memory lane. </p>
<p>Facts:<br/>Delaware's official state nickname is the First State, Wisconsin's is the Badger State.<br/>North Dakota's nickname is the Peace Garden State. It's in honor of the International Peace Garden that's on the border of North Dakota and Canada's Manitoba providence. It's on the longest unguarded border in the world.</p>
<p>As you may have guessed, the strappado was a torture device used to get a confession out of someone. It's thought that it was used in the Salem Witch Trials. </p>
<p>George Swinnerton Parker the founder of Parker Brothers was born in Salem Massachusetts. Parker Brothers was the company that originally produced Don't Wake Daddy, the board game, afterwards it was bought by Hasbro.</p>
<p>Apparently, Verizon Wireless is the largest wireless communication provider in the US by number of subscribers. Its headquarters was located in Basking Ridge, New Jersey, it’s now in New York City.</p>
<p>The Scream is a series of paintings and prints by Edvard Munch. You've probably seen it before.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Facts:</p><p>1865 is the year the American Civil War ended.</p><p>I’ve moved the omakes to be a part of the chapters rather than after notes. I still seem them in some fanfics today, but they were way more popular back in the day. They’re basically outtakes.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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